ADHD, OCD, Bipolar, Asperger's - My kids had it before it was popular!

Okay, it's lunch and I am at work but this will be perhaps my only chance to write today since I am eagerly anticipating the arrival of Brandon Wiley for an overnight visit. Yes, Granny and Papa are babysitting tonight and Papa is taking a vacation day so he can spend it with "his buddy".

Brandon loves his Papa very much when we visit Ricky and Glynda (his parents) - he runs to the door and stands in front of it so we won't leave - if that doesn't seem to be working, he grabs onto Papa's pants, looks up with huge, tear-filled eyes, and begins to cry in ernest. Apparently this trick is not limited to just us either - it happens to everyone that Brandon likes. And that baby likes a lot of people - just like his Uncle Ryan, he is sweet and charming and full of energy - keeping up with him is a full time job - how his mama does it I will never know - but that's not true - I do know how she does it - I had two just like him.

I first heard the words Attention deficit hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) when my sons were six and four. From there it went from bad to worse. Back then there were no books on the subject and no support groups and people looked at us like we were crazy when we tried to use the American with Disabilities Act to get assistance in the schools. Back then there were no safeguards in place for children like my sons. For example, they each had areas where they excelled and areas where they were weak. Ricky was prime at math and science but had trouble with English and Reading - so you would think they would remove him from class during English and Reading time - not so - they removed him during Social Studies - now where is the logic in that? They remove him from class he needs to help him with other classes he needs which causes him to fail the class he doesn't get to attend.

No wonder both my sons dropped out of school by the time they reached high school - they were as tired of the merry-go-round as we were. Now, Ricky went back to school, joined the Army and now is working full time and going to college while still managing to be a husband and father. You would have to be ADHD to accomplish this. But Ryan never did go back and he is my dark child - the one who not only walks on the wild side but lives there, eats there and wants to start a business there. Not that he has been in any real trouble - he just lives in RyanWorld. It's kind of like the center of the universe - at least HIS universe. The rest of us just watch, amused, as he tries to keep up with his own lies and deceptions.

I try to write humor into this tale but having lived through it makes it hard and knowing that I am STILL living through it to a certain degree makes it even harder. Everytime I look at Ryan's beautiful daughter Serenity I want to strangle him. She is unlike him in everyway except for looks - and there is no way he could deny her. But he has walked away from her and is missing out on everything from her first tooth to her first steps. He's missing out on the way she cuddles with Papa when she gets out of the pool or the way she chases her older cousin around the yard on all fours.

But Ryan is in his own world, socially autistic, as he therapist once said. In fact, he was the first one to use the term Asperger's Syndrome when making a diagnosis. Suddenly it all made sense.
I could say I breathed a sigh of relief but I didn't. Knowing what was wrong was only the beginning. I equate it to being diagnosed with a disease such as cancer or lupus. The diagnosis only tells you what is wrong - it is in the treatment that you begin to see changes (good and bad). Unfortunately by the time we finally discovered the core problem, Ryan was already sick of being medicated, poked and prodded. He was tired of hospitalizations and people laughing at him both behind his back and to his face. He was fed up with some of God's people who literally turned their back on him when he needed them the most.

Richard and I will never give up on our son - we may not always know what to do but we trust that God will show us what we need to do when we need to do it.

In the meantime, we love the babies and cuddle them close knowing that, at some point, everything will turn out fine.